Mark D. White

June 21, 2011

ASSOCIABLE PRESS–In a surpise move, DC Comics discovered that longtime head honcho Dan DiDio is actually a woman, then abruptly fired him her.

Fellow employees' reactions were mixed. A Mr. Lee, who asked that his first name (Jim) be withheld, said, "I can't believe I didn't see it before–I mean, the dude's just so damn pretty." Another DC employee, a Mr. Johns whose first name isn't Jeff but oddly sounds just like it, said, "That would explain all the sexual tension in our meetings, which I always thought was strange since it's always been all guys."

When asked if DiDio's dismissal was due to the shocking revelation, DC higher-ups scoffed, one asserting:

What do you mean, of course not–I mean, look at our new 52 books coming in September. We have a female writer. We also have a female artist. One of each! I think there may even be a female assistant editor, maybe two–wait, do we need two? Hmm… we'll have to think about that… [trails off, pulling out a book of pink slips]